Thursday, April 12, 2012

Why I don't believe

Those who know me well know that irrational thought is something I hate, this post is hopefully an explanation why I feel this way. This will give a bit of a background on myself and how I feel about this.

 I was raised by Christian parents who didn't take the church thing too seriously, but did have a firm belief in Christianity. My dad was an extremely lapsed Catholic and my mom was a Church of Christ member but did not attend a service in years. Due to my parents beliefs they felt it would not be fair to baptize me as a baby and if I chose to become baptized, I could when I would be old enough to make the decision on my own. I do remember being 6 and being certain there wasn’t a god, only to be chastised by friends so much that it seemed easier just to say there was.

Due to the less than desirable neighborhood I lived in as a child, I attended Catholic school for my entire life. This led to being baptized 2nd grade, under what was tremendous pressure from the school and my classmates. I went along with the Catholic thing, fully thinking that it was all bullshit, until about 9th grade. Around 9th grade the world changed drastically for me, not only did I start high school (yes another Catholic one) but I also became a die-hard music fan and received my first computer!

Throughout high school my stance as a non-believer grew, while most of my friends would make similar claims, it now appears that these claims were nothing more than high school rebellion. I was extremely lucky that my teachers at this school were understanding with my lack of belief.

The real test of my atheism was the passing of my father, after this happened and my lack of belief remained the same, I knew that it would never change. I was confident there is no afterlife and that every day should be lived fully because there is no more after you die.

Until this part, everything I stated was just my religious history and not solid reasoning. I guess when it comes down to it, the reason I don’t believe is that I just can’t. My brain works in a logical way, where proof and scientific reasoning yield what I believe, and not superstition or non-first-hand knowledge.

Hearing the condescending phrases such as “it’s just a phase” or “I’m praying for you” does nothing but make me feel that you will never get it, regardless of how hard I try to explain. 

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